Is Failure Supposed to Feel BAD?
I’m a subscriber to the Abraham-Hicks Daily Quotes. Normally, I find them to be right on the money, but today’s quote hit me a little off the mark. The bit that bugged me was this:
You are meant to succeed, and failure should feel bad to you. Life is supposed to go well for you—and when it does not, there is something wrong.
EEK!
I’m sorry, but I just can’t go along with that. Failure is nothing more or less than, well, getting it wrong. There are a multitude of reasons why we might get something wrong. Yes, we should learn from such an incident. NO, it should not make you feel bad, hurt, sick, unworthy or anything else negative. No way, no how.
Failure should be looked at as nothing more or less than a stepping stone to success. On your journey from where you are to where you wish to end up, you may have a few steps backward as well as (hopefully) mostly steps forward. Viewing those steps backward as failure has the capacity to suck your inspiration right out of you. Don’t let that happen.
When you stumble, learn from the experience and appreciate it for what it taught you. It hasn’t changed your value or worth as a person, so it should NOT make you feel bad. It’s an opportunity for growth and fine-tuning your approach. Bad simply shouldn’t enter the picture.
Remember: On your journey, love yourself unconditionally and take your successes and failures with equal grace.
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February 12, 2011 at 5:07 pm
lynpeel
If we were to be pedantic about what was written in the blog … I think it’s the use of the word “bad” which is judgmental! One wouldn’t and to say either that you should feel “good” about failure.
As one of our Australian politicians so elegantly put it recently “shit happens” but if we can’t learn from our experiences and move on with our lives then something is not working properly!
Another interesting thing is how often have you been disappointed that something didn’t work the way you wanted it to at the time only for you to realise later that it was a blessing in disguise??
Lyn
February 12, 2011 at 5:13 pm
Trane Francks
Lyn, I pretty much agree with that. About the only thing I would say differently is that defining an experience as either a success or a failure is itself judgmental. 😉 My thinking is that we’re better served simply by viewing our experiences as that, and we can learn something from all of them, without exception.
When we choose to view each experience as something from which to learn, the concept of bad goes out the window and all we’re left with is good. After all, it’s always good to learn something.
We could get into the semantics of good versus bad, but I don’t think it’s all that important. In a nutshell, I see “bad” as being an absence of good.
February 12, 2011 at 4:37 pm
Lisa
(Which is really to paraphrase and agree with what you said!)
February 12, 2011 at 4:35 pm
Lisa
While sometimes we do FAIL, and really screw up, I think most “failures” ARE learning experiences the word failure shouldn’t cross our brain. Try to learn something from every new person and situation you run into. Try to learn something from everything that goes wrong, and you’ll be a huge success. That’s all that matters. And maybe that’s not even all that important, eh?
February 12, 2011 at 5:07 pm
Trane Francks
Yep, I totally agree, Lisa. The word failure itself kind of sticks in my craw. Life is a journey and our successes (and failures) along the way are the scenic vistas of life. We may as well enjoy all of them. It’s our choice whether we do or not. 🙂